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Some of the most feared words a partner can be told are "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Too often, we get so far before we start to stress about how to help our marriage to grow and be strong. These words can seemingly come from out of the blue or there might be problems in the marriage that you simply aren't addressing. Whether there has been infidelity or some other instance of broken trust in the relationship, or there was abuse, boredom, or any variety of other issues, you will need to actively work on saving your marriage to create the healthy, happy relationship that you always wanted it to be. The First Step to Saving Your Marriage: Any marriage has highs and lows which are a standard part of the flow of things. If you move through an extended period of lows, on the other hand, there might be a problem. Until you identify what that problem is, you aren't going to be able to allow it to become better. In some instances, concentrating on the issue which is making you fight on a regular basis or that has been hurting either of you is simple. You could possibly be fighting over money or maybe you're upset that your spouse doesn't appear to be interested in you physically anymore. For others, the main reason for the problems are sometimes less obvious. When you have to obtain counseling to determine what the problems are, then do it. You can't find solutions without knowing the problems. The Second Step to Saving Your Marriage: After you have identified the issue or issues, you might take a practical approach to making them go away. This is going to require you to sit down and talk calmly and honestly about creating a plan for making things better. This is likely to be tougher than you expect it to be. Even those problems that appear minor may be very complex once you start working on them. Often that's because your spouse is the one who considers it to be a deal breaker and by the time things have gotten to the point where you are at risk of losing your relationship, they have peaked. You may have to do a lot more than adjust your attitude in order to begin saving your marriage. In particular, if your wife has delivered the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" message and he or she have been avoiding any form of intimacy with you for months, you may be confused about what usually are a sudden change in their feelings. When she or he tells you that the change in your appearance has completely cooled them off, do you think you're will be willing to commit to getting yourself in shape so that you can begin saving your marriage? However , the problem may also be something like the truth that they feel rejected by you since you haven't touched them in six months. If he or she has put on a lot of weight or just isn't caring for themselves and you do not see them in the same way, you need to put your cards on the table as well. With these types of issues, it's important never to be accusatory or point a finger of blame. Use the word "I" rather than the word "you". The Third Step to Saving Your Marriage: You must have time to help your marital problems go away, regardless of what they are. Whether you choose to receive counseling or work on the problems yourself, it requires time to discover solutions on your problems and to heal from the damage that they have already done. Always understand that you are working to alter your marriage and never your spouse. It is the relationship that needs mending and you may both have to work at it and at finding what you admire most in each other in order to fall in love again.
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You can also find additional resources and information for Saving Your Marriage by Don Price from www.savingyourrelationshiptips.com
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